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Rev. Jake Slayer

Spiritual Recovery Agent

RevJakeSlayer@Yahoo.com

2006 - Present , Independent Contractor

Independent Contractor available for Metaphysical malfunctions. Highly skilled in Spiritual Healing, Demon Hunting, Exorcisms, Dark Rituals and anything of the otherworldly dimensions. Fee Negotiable

2003 - 2006 , Purveyor of Metaphysical Supplies

Operated a small store at a Flea Market where We supplied hard to find items such as dehydrated reptiles, spider parts, scorpions, herbs and hand made ritual items such as wands, athames and alters. Had a good business going and a good following until My ex-partner/ex-girlfriend turned into a control freak/money grubbing whore and drove away the regular crazies.

1999 - 2003 , Self-Proclaimed " King of the Vampyres"

Operated a web site named " TheVampireWhitePages.com". I basically started an on-line community for The Nightbreeders and eventually had My own cult where people paid money for My monthly newsletter, Pagan Diety of the Month Idol, laminated membership card and a lifetime membership on a one way trip to the Darkside. During this period I also practiced many dark rituals and absentmindedly bonded My soul to a Demon from Hell. ( Which later saved My life more than once).

1996 - 1999 , Fuzzy Period

Everything is kinda fuzzy during this time. Just relocated to Florida and spent a lot of time recovering and reading texts and practicing the Ancient Arts.

1986 - 1996 , Spiritual Traveler and Student

Wandered aimlessly through Catskills, Appalachians and Blue Ridge Mountains studying with Faith Healers, Witches, Shamans and Mountain Men learning age old Religious practices. I also learned to Demon Hunt, perform Exorcisms < make Moonshine and learned to smoke food.

Education and References:

Elementary - 1981:

St. Lucifer's Episcopal School for the Spiritually Pre-Damned

1981 - 1983:

St. Lucifer's Episcopal Seminary for the Religiously Insane

Majored in the Theological Study of the Judeo/Christian/Pagan Religions.

1983 - 1986

St. Lucifer's Episcopal Monastery for Spiritual Warriors

A religious retreat where one learns and practices the arts of Exorcism, Demon Hunting, Necromancy and Wilderness Survival.

References:

1) God

2) The Episcopal Church

3) Odin

4) An Elderly Japanese Man

5) Countless Faith Healers, Shamans and Witches

6) Experience and Wisdom

7) A Few Demons

I have more short/insane stories. Where do I post them and instead of taking up too much space, can I just post a link to My blog?